Show Don’t Tell
Show don’t tell is one of the first pieces of advice given to new writers. My first writing professor preached that we all STAY AWAY from exposition. Still, even with SDT etched into our minds, writers slip into exposition and description, missing opportunities to immerse their readers. This can happen when describing a thing, an event, or the way something works (like in world building) when it might be more engaging to have the character show it to us. And that’s okay! That’s what drafts are for. Then we go back, edit and revise, and create active and engaging scenes.
Illuminate your prose by “showing” rather than just “telling.”
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What is Show Don’t Tell?
It’s not too hard to spot the difference because telling usually comes in the form of a simple description while showing uses actions, feelings, and sensations to create a moment instead of just talking about it. I could tell you that it’s raining, or I could show you through the soft thud of water droplets on my hood and how I watch them roll down the bright blue fabric of my rain jacket.
One of the reasons showing is important is because it creates a better experience for your readers. It engages and entertains them, and it keeps them coming back! Additionally, it helps your readers empathize with your characters. Writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, conveys an experience. Showing the experience instead of telling it will allow your readers to feel what the character feels and have some understanding of the world through the character’s eyes instead of their own.
Show Don’t Tell Examples
Example One: When showing incorporates more action
Tell:
Connie was afraid of the shadowy figure.
Show:
Connie’s heart raced as the shadowy figure moved closer. She wanted to flee, but her feet became lead, and she was trapped by the paralysis of her own terror. Reaching up to brace herself against the railing, her hands slipped, palms drenched in nervous sweat.
Example Two: showing helps zero in on the emotional tone
Tell:
James smirked and told me to get lost. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t going to leave him like this.
Show:
James smirked. “Just get lost. I don’t want to be around you right now.”
He turned, his back to me. Anger vibrated down his arms to his clenched fists. As the tension between us rose, I felt his increasing frustration. Still, I stayed, watching the rhythmic rise and fall in his shoulders.
“I’m not leaving,” I told him, crossing my arms. “You’re not going to push me away this time.”
Example Three: showing the past
Another useful moment for show don’t tell is when you’re conveying something that just happened. As an editor, I sometimes come across stories where a character will describe something that happened previously within the chronology of the narrative. I try to challenge writers by asking why not include it as scene? Especially if it’s so important to be brought up later.
Tell:
Yesterday, Madison gave me the letter on her way out. She seemed strange, but I didn’t think anything of it. But, now I know, it was because she was leaving.
*If you go back to yesterday in the manuscript and see that it makes sense to include this moment, then instead of telling it, show it. Show that Madison was strange and that the narrator didn’t think anything of it.
Show:
“Kristen,” Madison called from down the hall.
I turned around as she ran to close the space between us. Why the rush?
“Hey, Maddy,” I said, noticing the envelope in her hand.
She looked down at it, seeming to forget that I was there. I felt awkward, intrusive, watching her brush her hands over the lettering. She’d written my name in cursive.
“Is that for me?” I asked, not wanting to rush her, but also not wanting to be late for my appointment.
“Oh.” She blushed. “Sorry, yes. It’s for you.” She started to hand it to me, but drew back. “Will you – I mean, may I ask that you wait to open it?”
I looked into her eyes, some anxiety brewing. “Of course. Don’t worry,” I told her. “I’m on my way out anyways, I’ll read it tomorrow.”
Should You Ever Tell Instead of Show?
Show Don’t Tell is drilled into writers so often. I fear the strategic use of telling might have gotten swept into the shadows somewhere along the way. I’m here to tell you, there is such a thing as too much.
Consider our third show don’t tell example. Let’s say the story begins after Madison has left, and that chapter one is the narrator realizing she’s gone. If that scene didn’t happen in the chronology of the story and the focus is less on when Madison was present and more on what these characters are left to do now that she’s gone, then it might make more sense to mention – or tell – the moment of the letter exchange instead of showing it.
A good rule of thumb is to consider whether or not you want or need the reader to deduce anything, or do you simply want to provide a piece of information pertinent to the story. Consider the narrative tension of the moment. How is the past influencing the present, and how is it influencing the characters? Is a past experience, whether distant or more recent, so important that it should be shown, or will it benefit the momentum of the story to keep the characters grounded in the present?
One of the best ways to grasp an understanding of how to find balance between showing and telling is to read! Reading like a writer will help you pull from the text. Pick some of your favorite books and/or books that you know well. Look for when the writer shows versus tells. Are they showing too much? Are they telling too much? Would a scene make more sense if they gave you a tiny bit more information? Or is it a perfect balance that immerses you in the story and keeps you reading?
And then, as always, find what works best for your writing.
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