Writing Descriptions
Writing descriptions is a tricky part of the craft. Descriptions help you create a story world that’s immersive and engaging, but layering them on too thick can make your story sluggish. What’s more, beginning writers tend to devote too much time to crafting the perfect description, because that’s the fun part of writing. The beauty in the world is inspiring, and writers often yearn to pin that beauty to the page. But it can come at a price. Did you just spend a paragraph, or even a page, describing something that’s relatively inconsequential to your story? As much as you might want to take your memories from that gorgeous trip to Maine and freeze them in the amber of your story, ask yourself first: will this description add value to my story, or does it slow the action?
Guidelines for writing descriptions:
Avoid sacrificing pace for your descriptions.
Less is more.
Make it count!
Dust motes swirling in the gloom are enchanting, but do you really need to describe them in detail?
Avoid Sacrificing Pace for Your Descriptions
“In many cases when a reader puts a story aside because it 'got boring,' the boredom arose because the writer grew enchanted with his powers of description and lost sight of his priority, which is to keep the ball rolling.”—Stephen King, On Writing
Oh man, I’ve definitely been guilty of this particular sin! When I started creative writing, all I knew was that I wanted to write a story about an abandoned cemetery. I was enchanted by a particular location that’s outside Chicago, and I had the urge to capture its melancholy and ruined beauty in words. But setting is only a small part of a story, as I soon discovered. You don’t have anything unless you have flawed characters with unfulfilled wants and needs. So the cemetery in my story is important, but it’s less of a focal point than I had originally imagined. The real focal point is my characters, and how they drive the action that happens within the setting. Sure, I still have some description that pays homage to my love for cemeteries, but I’m learning to craft that imagery with economy and precision.
Another way to slow down action in your story is by writing long-winded descriptions of the action itself. I’ve been reading some of the original Nancy Drew novels, and I came across a passage that’s a great example of this problem:
“Ned dashed off with the rest of the group following. As if about to punt a football, Ned made a run of several feet, lifted his right foot, and aimed it at a kitchen window. Crash!” —Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Moss-Covered Mansion
This first time I read this sentence, it made absolutely no sense to me. I think it’s because, in my mind, the act of running doesn’t really mesh with the act of lifting. But that’s not the real problem! The issue is that you shouldn’t make readers parse through the choreography of a high-energy moment. If they have to get a Master’s degree in kinesiology to understand your action sequences, then maaaaaybe your descriptions aren’t as action-packed as you thought. Do we really need to know how Ned kicked in the window, or is it enough to say “Ned kicked in the window” so we can get on to what happens next?
Less is More
“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” —Stephen King, On Writing
One of the things that’s magical about reading is how the “theater of the mind” will fill in the blanks. If you choose the right words, you don’t have to describe every little detail. Readers will absorb the evocative words you’ve chosen, and the rest will blossom in their minds. I just finished reading Mexican Gothic by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia, and there several outstanding examples of images that are evoked with two or three words.
Puckered with ravines —to describe the landscape around the spooky mansion at the heart of the story. It’s three simple words, but because they’re well-chosen, I have a clear mental picture of what the landscape is like.
Faint sketch of a man—to describe one of the story’s main characters. By employing an apt comparison, I can infer several things about this character’s physical and mental attributes. I picture someone who’s slight and pale, and also meek and quiet. You always want to go for descriptions that give you the most bang for your buck, and this is a great example of that kind of economy.
A pustule, not a man, a living, breathing, pustule—to describe the story’s villain. I know this is an effective description because it makes me say “Ew.” And it shows how you don’t have to go for adjectives upon adjectives to elicit a reaction from readers. In fact, I’d argue that with horror writing, you want to leave some things in the dark. That’s where the scariest things live.
Make it Count
In addition to thinking about our descriptions themselves, we need to think about where they add the most to the story. When writing descriptions, always ask yourself, “Is this deepening the reader’s understanding of character, plot, setting, or theme?” Let’s look at another example from the world of Nancy Drew:
“The grandstand shook as if a giant hand were shaking it violently.” —Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Moss-Covered Mansion
This sentence is only a hair better than saying, “The grandstand shook like it was shaking really hard!” The simile here—“as if a giant hand were shaking it violently”—doesn’t add enough to our understanding of the situation at hand to earn its keep. You could reach for a more evocative comparison, but is this really a situation where we need to deepen the reader’s understanding with an apt simile? I’d say it’s a solid no. Take a look at your own manuscript for extraneous descriptions and save those words for a place that really counts.
Key Takeaways for Writing Descriptions
“We’ve all heard someone say, ‘Man, it was so great (or so horrible/strange/funny)… I just can’t describe it!’ If you want to be a successful writer, you must be able to describe it, and in a way that will cause your reader to prickle with recognition.” —Stephen King, On Writing
As you go forth to work on your own manuscripts, I’d like you to remember these key points:
First and foremost, focus on developing your characters’ inner lives—their motivations, their fears, their emotions—so they can drive the plot forward. Description is the icing on the cake.
Aim for precision and economy in your descriptions. Your writing won’t be better if it’s stuffed with adjectives and adverbs.
Think about where and when your descriptions will add the most to your story. Do we need to know that Nancy picked a generic white dress and shoes to wear to dinner? Not in the slightest! Do we need to know that the bleachers shook like a giant hand was shaking them? Nope! Remember: strategic placement is half the battle when writing descriptions.
Let us know in the comments if you have favorite books with description that sings—reading mentor texts is always an excellent way to improve your craft. This post contains affiliate links.
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