I would say, you can use the second-person direct address, but don't make it sloppy. Don't use it for generalizations. And there has to be a really strong reason for that choice. Do you hear me?

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transcript for “you” pov

Hi, my name is Mary Kole with Good Story Company. This is a very specific video for "you." And by "you," I mean, second-person direct address, the "you" as used in story writing.

So, it can be when you've written your entire story as the "you," like, you walk through the room. You look over in the mirror. There are books written in entirely second-person direct address. And I can pop a link to those in the show notes. There's a roundup on Book Riot that you can find online. There are books that exist that are written in the "you." It is kind of like the "I," the first person, but it is very second person and I think the effect there, the intended effect is to make the reader really feel like they are part of the story literally, just part of the story. You do this. You do that.

For me, if you make that storytelling choice, it is a more niche choice. It does work but there has to be a reason for it, right? There has to be a reason the whole thing is written as "you." And it's gonna be a polarizing choice. There are gonna be agents, there are gonna be publishers that say, "You know, I don't understand why this is second-person direct address. It's jarring. It, like, shines a spotlight on me. I don't like it." There are gonna be people who are like, "Okay. This is risky. This is edgy. I love it."

I would kind of do this more in middle grade, more in young adult, literary fiction, rather than some more, I would say, conservative categories, like for example, picture book. We don't see it a lot. I'm thinking of Tammi Sauer's "Your Alien" which is written as the "you," but the character is a boy character and so, is there gonna be a disconnect when a girl reader is reading this boy character and it's talking about "you," but we can see kind of a boy character on the page. That's a really good question. I've only read it with my sons never with my daughter so we'll see because she's a baby. She can't tell me what she's thinking. I can tell she's thinking a lot but just don't know what it is yet.

So, I would say, a little bit more experimental, we can do it in literary fiction. We can do it in middle grade, young adult, kind of some of these more general categories, maybe romance. Erotica would be really interesting. I don't know. It has to be a choice that has a reason behind it. It has to be a choice that makes sense. And that's what you're gonna hear. I posted a video earlier on, kind of, less mainstream storytelling choices and when you can do them and when you should do them, and that may be interesting watching as a companion to this video. But it is very polarizing so if you're gonna make this choice, you need to know. Like, okay, I'm probably gonna hear about it as a reason for rejection but there might be that person out there who absolutely loves it. And there are examples that have sort of paved the way for you if you want to make the "you" choice.

Now, I also see the manuscripts that are written in first or third person where it's kind of the general view. It's like, "You know how it goes with moving. It's the worst or whatever. It's like... Or when you order a coffee and they get your name wrong," so kind of for generalizations. I find that in first or third person suddenly going into the second person, suddenly calling out the "you," or it could be like an intrusive narrator saying like, "You know what I mean, dear reader," you know, directing the reader, breaking the fourth wall. Again, there needs to be a reason for that choice. When you're sloppy about it and it's just a generalization like "You know how it goes when you're getting coffee and they get your name wrong." That's a generalization. It's a general statement. It could easily be done in first or third person. "I hate it when they get my name wrong when I'm getting coffee," or "She hated it when they got her name wrong when she was getting coffee." That, to me, is a lot less intrusive than the "you."

So, for generalizations, I would try to avoid the "you," especially if it kind of pops in and out. It's not consistent. If you have an intrusive narrator in first or third person and they break the fourth wall, make sure you do it consistently. Make sure there's a good reason and make sure that the narrative voice just carries throughout rather than like "you" on page 50 and "you" on page 349 and that's the only time it appears. It can really pull the reader out of the story, make them remember that they're reading. You know, the fourth wall being broken and being called out in a book can be jarring unless it's done for a reason, unless it's done consistently, and unless it's done for a specific effect.

So, I would say, you can use the second-person direct address, but don't make it sloppy. Don't use it for generalizations. And there has to be a really strong reason for that choice. Do you hear me?

This is Mary Kole with Good Story Company. Here's to a good story, "you" writer.

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