Narrative Point of View and Character Description
by Mary Kole | Former literary agent, now a freelance editor, writing teacher, and IP/story developer for major publishers and creators.
There are many ways to include character description in your novel, though your options depend on the narrative point of view you’ve chosen. What works in third person doesn’t necessarily work in first person, and vice versa. Let’s dig into this interesting topic.
Exploring Narrative Point of View
First person point of view is the “I.” You are as close as you can be to your character’s inner world. Third person narrative comes in a few more flavors (close or limited, and omniscient).This is the “he” or “she,” and includes a bit more narrative distance with your POV in writing, though we would argue that getting into your character’s interiority is even more crucial when you’re in third person.
Given your options here, you need to decide how you plan on writing descriptions. In first person narrative point of view, you are limited to what the character sees. This includes how they see themselves. Character self-description in first person narrative point of view can be tricky. We don’t tend to dwell on our own bodily experience or our own perception of our physical appearance the way a third person narrator might.
For example:
My eyes shifted to the corner of the room and what I saw made my heart race with fear—a shadow that hadn't been there a moment ago. I immediately leaned back against the wall, muscles tightening and mouth going dry as I got ready to take action. My breath came in short, shallow gasps as I prepared myself to spring into the fight.
In first-person narrative point of view, you're within your character's head, heart, and body. But the above example seems overwritten to me. Especially if a character is scared in the moment, they wouldn’t dwell so much on what their physical body is doing (and substituting body language in writing for emotion is also less appealing in first person).
Contrasted to first person, third-person narrative point of view takes a step back, letting you observe from a more distant vantage point. It's a subtle distinction, and one that can be harder to pick up on. But here’s the same passage rewritten in third person:
His eyes shifted to the corner of the room and what he saw made his heart race with fear—a shadow that hadn't been there a moment ago. Charles immediately leaned back against the wall, muscles tightening and mouth going dry as he got ready to take action. His breaths came out in short, shallow gasps as Jake steeled himself to take on the mysterious intruder.
The passage is still overwritten, but this focus on the character’s physical body feels more appropriate in a more distant narrative point of view, such as third person.
After all, it's impossible to witness a character's muscles tensing or their heart racing from a third person perspective—the approach used here lends itself to the idea of an outside observer rendering the action in third person narrative point of view. That same method simply wouldn't sound organic if the protagonist discussed their own body in first person.
Natural Narrative Point of View
Imagine sitting down with your best friend over coffee and telling a story. In describing yourself, would you be more inclined to say "I saw" or “My eyes glanced over"? The former, of course. When it comes to writing a character description in first person narrative point of view, it feels a bit unnatural to say, "my gaze shifted" or "my mouth dropped open" as if you’re narrating voiceover about yourself. This is more similar to third person narrative point of view self-description, and should not be used in first.
When considering which narrative point of view to use, only use first person if you are committed to staying true to the "I" perspective in description as well. That's not to say you can't be creative with it—but keep it authentic to how people tend to talk about themselves. If you want to zoom out a bit and bet more descriptive, third person narrative point of view might be a better fit.
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