Dealing With Query Writing Rejection

by Mary Kole | Former literary agent, now a freelance editor, writing teacher, and IP/story developer for major publishers and creators.

Recently, a Good Story Learning member asked me a universal question about dealing with query writing rejection:

How do you handle it when you feel like you’ve exhausted all your options? If your query letters to agents keep getting rejected, how do you keep going? How do you keep writing, let alone query writing? Or do you quit?

The Query Writing Mindset

I think it’s a great question to consider, and I know a lot of writers have thought about this in moments of despair. Literary rejections are tough but they’re (most likely) an inevitable part of the query writing process. You can, however, remember that you are in control of your work and your attitude, even if you can’t control or predict how a literary agent or publisher will react.

Most of us are familiar with what’s called the "scale of mastery," which goes from Unconscious Incompetence to Unconscious Competence. Unconscious Incompetence is "ignorance is bliss," or that rush a writer feels when they just start writing and everyone loves their work. They finish a draft quickly and then dash it off to top literary agents without revising first, only to receive a shock when they experience what’s probably their first taste of rejection in query writing.

Conscious Incompetence in Query Writing

After this, most writers take a step back and realize that the art of novel and query writing is much more complex than they originally thought. They begin to read more, exploring the entire spectrum of writing styles and creative writing techniques that authors use. They understand that they have much to learn before they can call themselves an "expert" writer. At this stage, some writers realize that they initially acted foolishly and submitted their book query letter too early. They instead nip some good ideas in the bud or become gun shy about query writing in the future. Some writers choose not to send out their work until they feel that it's perfect, and go into a bit more of a creative cocoon before making another attempt at query writing.

Conscious Competence in Query Writing

Writers in this next stage, known as conscious competence, have considered a variety of ideas for their book before settling on one that they feel confident in getting published. At this point, since they have been burned before and their standards are higher than they once were, they might find it difficult to sit down and write, and revision can be tedious at times. But they still find themselves getting better and better at crafting language and developing their own unique authorial voice. Their enthusiasm lifts as they prepare to begin query writing and sending their work out into the world again.

But Don’t Start Query Writing Again Just Yet …

Unfortunately, this stage is also where many writers get stuck. They are armed with a lot of reading knowledge, have been following the writing industry closely, and feel like they have truly mastered their craft—yet the query writing rejections continue flooding in.

Along with the rejections comes vague negative feedback about why their work wasn't chosen: the voice wasn't right, it didn't seem special enough compared to what else is out there, the market is too competitive … etc. After all this hard work and dedication, the writer gets frustrated and genuinely wonders why their hard work hasn’t paid off. They blame it on agents, or their lacking query writing skills, or Mercury in retrograde. And while they know enough about their craft at this point, they might not yet know what they’re missing.

Query Writing From a Place of Unconscious Competence

Most writers have not achieved the ultimate level of mastery, which is referred to as Unconscious Competence. This means that the writer is not overthinking when they write. As a result, their characters are vivid and complex, their writing flows with authority and sophistication, and their stories are strong enough to be published.

According to Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers: The Story of Success, it takes roughly 10,000 hours and/or 10 years to reach mastery. Other writers suggest writing 1,000,000 bad words in order to learn how to create stories. The majority of published writers we’ve polled unofficially and officially (see the results of how to write a manuscript here) have said that it took them around a decade to get their first book deal.

The publishing world is tough, and many books never even make it to shelves. But if you want to become a better writer and person, you need to strive for excellence. Don't get discouraged by query writing rejection. It doesn't mean you're not good enough—It just means that you need to work a bit harder. That you might not yet know what you don’t know. Just because some people seem like they become published authors immediately doesn’t mean that you will have the same experience. You can’t control the industry, but you can control the work you put into your craft. Empower yourself by reading, writing, and revising your work. If that sounds like too much effort? Writing may not be the pursuit for you.

No matter what, don't give up. The success of your project depends on you. Put away the old idea that your query writing has yielded rejections so far, and move on to something else. If you are stuck for ideas, you are in a difficult situation. Take the feedback and keep on improving your craft. Rejection doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Instead, it can be writing motivation to grow, and that’s a powerful mental reframe.

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