I’ve had many writers ask me how to be a writing buddy, and I love the idea of the “writing buddy”. How is a writing buddy different from a critique partner or writing partner? The terms are often used interchangeably, but I happen to think that a “writing buddy” is friendlier. So here’s how to be a good one, and boost your own critique and writing skills at the same time.

What does it mean to be a writing buddy? Give your critique partner the tools they need to succeed, and the insights you generate will come back to you in the form of wisdom for your own work.

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how to be a writing buddy: Don’t Forget Praise

In workshop settings, writers are encouraged to offer the “praise sandwich,” which means starting with praise and ending with praise. The “meat” in the middle of the sandwich can be your more hard-hitting stuff, but writers do better when they hear some validation at the beginning and the end.

This does not mean lying! Or sugar-coating. Every manuscript is the result of someone’s hard work. You’ve put a ton of effort into your own writing. You want to hear about your strengths, not just critique. Every single writer is doing something right. It’s actually very easy to find fault, so it doesn’t make you exceptional.

Make sure you note what you admire about the work. Early, often, and then in your summary of the comments.

how to be a writing buddy: Opportunities for Growth

Writers seek critique to learn and grow. Or most of them do, anyway. When you seek to be a writing buddy, or find a writing buddy of your own, ideally, you will be working with another writer (or writers) who want to learn. The “meat” in the praise sandwich can otherwise be your opportunity for growth time. The stuff that needs work.

But don’t just point out the flaws in a manuscript. Instead, talk about why certain elements of the story didn’t work, and how you’d fix those elements. Remember, writers want to craft a good story, and digging into the why of something working—or not—is crucial. You’re not going to be a good writing buddy if you just say, “I didn’t like it,” without elaborating.

how to be a writing buddy: Writing Accountability

A big bonus of having a writing buddy is some built-in accountability. Writers can cheer one another on in terms of deadlines, goals, and motivation when the writing or revision process gets long or tedious. By being a good writing buddy, remember that you’re not just providing critique—you are also providing day-to-day encouragement to your partner(s).

One thing you can do as a writing buddy is not let your fellow writers disappear. We all tend to do this sometimes, when the going has gotten tough or we feel overwhelmed. If you are a writing buddy, check-in with your partner(s) and see what’s up. Sometimes, life has gotten in the way. Other times, the muse has gotten discouraged. Cheer up a fellow writer by simply being your wonderful self. You may do some good for them in their writing journey. Or at least in their day.

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