How to Write Active Dialogue
Writing dialogue is tricky. It seems like it should be the simplest part of the process, because we’re all familiar with what conversations sound like. There’s a difference, though, between a conversation you might have over the course of your day and one you might include in your writing.
Active dialogue conveys information, voice, story stakes.
How to Write Active Dialogue
Dialogue serves several purposes. It can be a way to convey information the reader needs to understand the story. It can be used to increase tension, and to demonstrate what’s at stake. And most importantly, dialogue is a way to showcase each character’s individual voice. The challenge with writing dialogue happens when writers try to accomplish all of these things, and the end result is a conversation that would never fly in real life.
What Would the character actually say?
When writing dialogue into a scene, consider what each character already knows, and then what they would actually say to each other as a result. For example, if two characters are well aware that the company is going to go under and unemployment is imminent, it’s unlikely they would get into heavy detail about the background of the company and the bad decisions that were made that led to this moment. They’d be more likely to discuss their current circumstances, and decisions they must make as a result.
Consider this:
“Now that ABC is going bankrupt, 365 employees will lose their jobs. It’s all because they made that deal last year that leveraged us to the hilt. Then we were ripe for a takeover, and we knew as soon as that happened we’d be bought and they’d clean house. The company should have thought of the employees in all of this. We’ve worked here for fifteen years. We have families to support. What are we supposed to do? How will we find jobs in this market?”
This is a long paragraph of backstory. Yes, we get general information, but nothing about the character or their specific circumstances is revealed. There’s no nuance to the voice that reveals an emotional connection, other than the desperation at the end.
Instead of the long block of dialogue, break it up with action and interaction:
Ed placed the framed photo of his family into his messenger bag. Fifteen years, and this is all I’m carrying out with me.
“I’m heading out, Ed. Wanna walk to the parking lot one last time together?” Joe leaned in the doorway.
Ed looked out the window. “I just can’t get over it, you know? I really thought ABC would look out for us in the end. This severance will barely get my family through the holidays.”
Joe walked in and patted him on the back. “We’ll get through this. It seems bleak right now, but another door will open. I hope.”
“Can’t happen soon enough, Joe. Mindy’s job is on the line, too. If she gets cut, we’ll have to move back in with her parents. I don’t know how we’ll face the kids.”
“I hear you, brother. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
With the active dialogue, we learn what’s really weighing on Ed, while still getting the sense that the company failed him. We see he has a strong relationship with his coworker, and we feel his dread walking out to face both his family (his specific circumstances) and the unknown (the story’s stakes/tension/theme).
Active Dialogue and Dialogue Tags
We’ve covered before types of dialogue tags, and when to use them (hint: “said” is the preferred invisible word, or sometimes “asked.”) Writing active dialogue also means using minimal dialogue tags. The current market preference is tags should be used only when absolutely necessary. Dialogue tags can be avoided by alternating what’s said with character action.
For example:
“Are you going to the dance?” Jane looked at the floor.
“I-I think so.”
“You’re taking her, aren’t you?” She brushed her fingertips across her eyes.
Oh no. I didn’t mean to make her cry. “It’s still a week away. I bet you can get a date. Ask Paul.”
“Paul?! Paul smells like wet socks. He’s the last person I’d ask!”
“Fair point. There’s gotta be someone, though. Let me think about it.”
“Right.” Jane stood, pushing her chair back. “You think. I’m sure you can scrounge up a pledge for me. Never mind. I’ll figure something out myself.” She stuffed her books into her backpack and stomped out of the library.
James watched her go, then picked up his phone. Three new messages from Heather. I guess that went as well as could be expected.
Here, the action eliminates the needs for dialogue tags, and the direct thought adds an emotional layer to what’s being said. If any of the above were interrupted with a dialogue tag, we would be pulled out of the scene. Avoiding the tags creates an immediacy that draws us in, and makes us feel like we’re with James. Without knowing the specifics of their relationship, we can share their emotions.
And as with the first example, there’s no need to discuss their backstory. More details could be organically worked in later. We’re given just enough to know it’s an uncomfortable situation, they want different outcomes, and feelings have been hurt.
pare down dialogue after the first draft
Writing active dialogue takes practice, and sometimes multiple drafts. If you feel the need to get everything down for yourself in your first draft, fine. Consider marking it, though, as a place to go back later to rework. And then in your next draft, look at each block of dialogue and ask whether it serves a purpose or was first-draft filler. If characters are speaking in long blocks, delivering backstory, or saying what you think the reader needs to know more than they’d actually say in conversation, it’s time to rewrite. Make the dialogue active, and your reader will be hooked.
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