How to Write Dialogue In a Story
by Mary Kole | Former literary agent, now a freelance editor, writing teacher, and IP/story developer for major publishers and creators.
If you’re wondering how to write dialogue in a story, this post is for you. Because if you suspect that your dialogue is off somehow, you’re likely right. The writerly gut instinct is a powerful thing!
I was poring over a manuscript the other week and it was overflowing with expository dialogue—in other words, a lot of telling between quotation marks. Unsurprisingly, the characters called each other by name excessively while they were talking, and spent quite a bit of time explaining their circumstances to people who would’ve realistically known the information already.
How to Write Dialogue In a Story
So the simple answer to how to write dialogue in a story is: believability is key! Telling in dialogue is a widespread issue, and leads to readers being turned off when the dialogue doesn’t sound purposeful or organic. If you’re wondering how to write dialogue in a story that actually avoids these pitfalls and works as natural human speech, the tips below will help.
To avoid tedious expository dialogue, don’t use more names than usual, unless there are many characters present in a scene and you are trying to differentiate between them. (You can also identify the speaker using dialogue tags), but these can become problematic as well, if you use too many or tell about emotions with fancy “said” synonyms and adverbs. If that happens, it’s time to kill your darlings.)
Let’s see how many issues of how NOT to write dialogue in a story you can spot here:
"My beloved husband Danny," cooed Laurie, "could you kindly pass the mashed potatoes?" She then continued, "How was your day today as a board member of the Audubon Museum Society?"
"Just splendid," he replied with a smile. "After I sent Jake and Emily off to preschool and first grade, I went straight to the office."
"Aww, that's what I love to hear," Laurie said sweetly. "Now Danny, what plans do you have to solve the issues you've been having with your boss? He's been making you so angry these past few weeks!"
The above works way too hard. Contrast this with an example of how to write dialogue in a story that works better:
“Can you pass the mashed potatoes, please?” Laurie asked as she settled down for dinner with her husband.
Danny did so, but looked lost in thought after a long day on the board.
“Is this about work?” she asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“You know you can talk to me.”
“I know.
Laurie pressed her lips together. “I just think you should mention something to your boss.”
“Laurie, I told you—”
“Well, it’s clearly making you miserable, and you bring it home!” she said, louder than she meant to.
There are a lot of data points missing but that’s because it’s the writer’s job to add the context—that he works at the Audubon Museum Society, for example—elsewhere. Dialogue is all about subtext instead. If you’ve mentioned where the husband works before, readers don’t need to be told again. They will remember.
Which elements of how to write dialogue in a story are at work here? Quite a few, as it turns out.
What To Include and What to Omit As You Learn How to Write Dialogue In a Story
First, these characters act like they know one another and aren’t engaging in any telling in dialogue. (Every writer has heard about show don’t tell, but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass if you put quotation marks around your telling. You’re not as sneaky as you think with this strategy!) Second, both characters have something on their minds and instead of simply explaining it, they each have to do some work and feel some emotion. Remember, human dialogue is nowhere near as straightforward as the first example.
Laurie has to drag things out of Danny which he clearly doesn’t want to talk about. He dodges her inquiries. She loses her cool. There is conflict and story tension here, even though it’s not explosive. But the presence of conflict often makes the difference between mere dialogue and complete scene in how to write dialogue in a story.
You might also notice that the dialogue tags are largely missing. They’re not all that necessary in a two-person scene, as long as readers can follow along. From my experience, too many names in dialogue can be an indication that the writer doesn't believe the reader is able to comprehend the conversation. Though this is the case sometimes in scenes with multiple characters, strict dialogue formatting and unique writing voice help characters stand out in how to write dialogue in a story.
Let me be frank: have faith in your reader. Avoid overwriting and micromanaging their experience, which is actually what you’re doing when you write expository dialogue. Instead, if you’re wondering how to write dialogue in a story, remember that less is more, and that your reader is eagerly picking up what you’re putting down on the page.
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