Tips to Avoid Telling in Prose Writing
by Mary Kole | Former literary agent, now a freelance editor, writing teacher, and IP/story developer for major publishers and creators.
It can be tedious to read prose writing full of descriptions of gazes, body language, looks, and tones of voice. We’ve all been there: withering glares, exasperated grumbles, strained words ... all seemingly told in scene description.
But how do we show the reader these moments in prose writing instead? After all, we’ve heard the adage “show, don’t tell” a million times, but how can we use this in our own prose writing craft?
Using Less Telling In Prose Writing
In real life, off the page, eyes speak volumes about our emotions – so try describing eyes in writing, too. One glance can tell you everything you need to know. The same goes for the tone in which we speak—it can alter the entire meaning of a conversation. Have you ever said something harmless through a text or email, only for it to be interpreted in an entirely different way?
You might have meant it in jest, but the unintended recipient got a snarky vibe instead. Whenever this happens, think of the old adage that a picture is worth a thousand words. There’s a lesson there for those writing novels and short stories. You shouldn’t use a thousand words to render one image. And visual images aren’t necessarily the most important elements to get onto the page.
Some concepts are difficult to explain using words alone. Also, body language and tone of voice are usually better expressed through personal interaction or cinematic visuals. As humans, we often can understand another person’s feelings by reading their body language and taking in the sound of their voice. When trying to put this on paper in writing body language, writers can easily lose the energy and life of the expression.
Body language and other nonverbal cues are tough to render without the visual element. As a result, a writer often has to resort to describing emotions in writing that these gestures represent in their prose writing, rather than conveying their essence through action or dialogue. To express menace without simply saying the word “menace” or saying something is done “menacingly,” is a challenge, and it requires an author to use creativity and thoughtfulness in their prose writing.
Instead, Try Showing In Prose Writing
To illustrate this point, instead of writing “He said in a menacing tone,” try to illuminate that emotion in the dialogue itself. For example: “We’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Even better: “Oh yes, tomorrow morning,” with a crack of his knuckles. “We’ll see you then.” Or even more obvious: “I wouldn’t count on making it to lunch tomorrow.”
To elevate your prose writing, you can add a bit of action, slim down the dialogue and omit the dialogue tags (LINK: https://www.goodstorycompany.com/blog/dialogue-tags ) to kick readers’ imaginations into overdrive, and give the line a little personality, for example, with the “oh yes.” The meaning is still the same, but maybe the overall atmosphere has been changed—and in the showdown of telling vs showing (LINK: https://kidlit.com/telling-vs-showing ), showing prevails.
With something like this and context clues (the reader is likely picking up on the idea that something hair-raising is about to happen tomorrow), you can jolt your audience with some “menace” without ever saying the word. You switch telling in writing to showing, which will make your prose writing even tighter, and allow readers to get more engaged.
Recognize Your Prose Writing Telling Patterns and Revise Them
Staying away from all body language, look, and voice tone descriptions is an unachievable goal because these are endemic in published works, and every writer uses them. To be very clear, this is such a widespread and accepted element of modern prose writing that it's highly unlikely that people will ever stop doing it. All I'm asking for is for you to become more aware of your use of it.
Perhaps take 10% of your look/voice/tone descriptions and transform them into something else that comes across better on the page, rather than in a visual medium, such a film, where body language and facial expression are such a key piece of the puzzle.
If you master a nice balance of showing and telling in your prose writing, you will be able to tell your story much more clearly, and with more impact. There’s a reason that writing is both an art and a craft, and often takes years (or a million bad words—which is one of my favorite novel writing techniques.
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